Battlefield Earth (Roger Christian, 2000)

“‘Battlefield Earth’ is like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time. It’s not merely bad; it’s unpleasant in a hostile way.”
– Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times (5/12/2000)

“Sitting through it is like watching the most expensively mounted high school play of all time. The film is stocked with evil aliens who, in their padded body stockings, plastic armorlike fittings and matted hair extensions, resemble nothing so much as members of GWAR, the metal-rock parodists that Beavis and Butt-head loved. It may be a bit early to make such judgments, but ”Battlefield Earth” may well turn out to be the worst movie of this century.”
– Elvis Mitchell, the New York Times (5/12/2000)

“Sure, science fiction gets some leeway in the reality department, but “Battlefield Earth” doesn’t even make sense on its own terms. Compounded by a dated visual style, patched-together special effects and ludicrous dialogue, “Battlefield Earth” is a wholly miserable experience.”
– Robin Rauzi, Los Angeles Times (5/12/2000)

“Each scene has been shot from a canted angle, forcing more literal-minded viewers to tilt their heads in order to follow the story and determine which of the alien baddies is roughing up what human…Please, no more John Travolta sci-fi action fantasies based on L. Ron Hubbard pocket books directed by the man who did the second-unit directing for “The Phantom Menace.”
– Wesley Morris, San Francisco Examiner (5/12/2000)

“His (Travolta’s) dialogue throughout is punctuated with a wicked laugh that recalls Vincent Price–but again, more campy than eerie.

“It’s an embarrassing performance that begs the question, “What was he thinking?” But that at least gives the audience something to ponder while this scenario–it can hardly be called a plot–rumbles on.”
– Rauzi

“…awful in so many different ways.”
– Ebert

“‘Plan Nine from Outer Space’ for a new generation…beyond conventional criticism”
– Mitchell

“Some of the computer-generated imagery looks fine, but others–the Psychlos’ home planet, for one–would be comical on “Star Trek: Voyager.” The ruins of American cities have a distinct “Logan’s Run” quality to them. But it’s the non-computer stuff that’s really bad. Shots don’t match. The climactic battle of “Battlefield Earth” is nothing but a loud chaotic assault on the audience.”
– Rauzi

Battlefield Earth was a major commercial failure and critical flop and has been widely dismissed as one of the worst films ever made.”
– Wikipedia

“Some movies run off the rails. This one is like the train crash in “The Fugitive.” I watched it in mounting gloom, realizing I was witnessing something historic, a film that for decades to come will be the punch line of jokes about bad movies.”
– Ebert

“BATTLEFIELD EARTH is that amazing turd in your toilet bowl. That log of shit that has colors that you can’t understand the reason for being there. It also has a weird shape… it somehow resembles something familiar. You almost want to take a picture of it to show friends late at night, when the blinds are drawn and have a dirty filthy thing you want to disgust someone with, but… you have this inate curiousity… “Have you ever seen anything quite like this?”

“Your friend will inevitably take a look and say, “Whoa, what a piece of shit!”

“And you will respond with, “Yeah, but don’t you think it’s fascinating how..”

“Your friend will interupt with, “Dude, why did you take a picture of this log of shit? Why did you waste the film?”

“Because I thought it would be interestin..”

“Dear God, It’s just a log of shit!”
– Harry Knowles, Ain’t It Cool News


What they said.



2 comments so far

  1. ShotgunAndy on

    Perfect ending.

  2. ShotgunAndy on

    To your review, I mean.

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